Thursday, May 22, 2008 Darkest Before Dawn.
Well today is a good day, which turn sour in the end
First i lost my PSP,if i was bad.. i will write a whole load of vulgar words here.
I wanted to just emo and think of my lost, it might ease the pain
However, primary school kids were there, they were asking me not to cry(i was in that position but ain't crying)
So i just throw away the problem,buried it deep in my heart and laugh, laugh till i reach home, where it creeps up my soul again.
Then Another major problem that has been bugging me since the dawn of time, i don't know whether u tink it is worst or lesser than your problems but this is my Major Pain to me so listen up
You know the feeling where u find the girl/guy of your dreams and wanna stay with them forever, the feeling of heart pounding, wanting to share every goddamn thing with her/him? Then if she/he rejects u, u tell everyone abt it and emo abt it and hate it till the cows come home?Then if dun hav the courage to tell, he/her u can at least protect her, at least have a goal?
The feeling where you feel that one person is thinking of you most of the time?When there is trouble u can find that person, where he or she is truly yours(at least for the moment) and first place in her heart and u can confide in her
The feeling of having a target in life, where u strive to achieve whatever you wan with your full heart?The feeling that u know yourself in and out and know what u are, and who u are?(etc below)
Well, i believe that i was "quiet", someone told me i was "noisy"(this is a example)
You just lose yourself again, dun even knowing who the heck u are.
----------------------------------------------------------------------
I don't have all this feelings?
At least if i had a goal, i will feel, hate,love,fear,anger,happiness, but all i feel, is the hollow emptiness that comes with the lack of all this feeling
i do feel anger, i do feel hate, i do feel all those feeling, but they are not constant.
If u kena rejected, u will be emo for the longest time ever, or angry for the longest time ever
i lack that, i can find comfort, i can find happiness, but they are like dust in the wind, coming and going in the slightest change
A movie with friends, a outing, lunch together, dust in the wind
dust are easy to grab, easy to fly away, what happens when all the dust goes to their favourite dust?
I wan to feel, sad, happy,anger,fear, hope, get me? i wan to FEEL
I don't know who i am?
I don't know why am i living?
I don't know what the hell am i doing?
And unlike other problems, this problem, only i can fix
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Well if u actually read throughly to the end, my sincere thanks,
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
Ok lets buried it all again under the sand
On a happier note, today is CIP day for my class... had alot of fun, only spoiled by the end of my psp
CONGRATS TO JACKIE,SHAMINI,GAYA,JOLENE,SAMANTHA and me
For Making CIP a Success
Congrats to Shi An to be the first guy to know a New Zealand girl first( All the class guys were like, WTF?)
Here are pictures of CIP in primary school
Jackie and Glenn>>>>
Me in the booth>>>>>
Me in the LEAST RIDICULOUS PHOTOGRAPH>>>
It was fun
All is Somewhat well
4:52 AM