Angel Guides Us

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Hello readers,

Well, i tot of something and i have to say, i should have more faith and trust in the person's character, damn mysef, why can't i do that, why can't i do that. All i wanted was to make sure the person is happy, damn damn. why?

Well, i reflected upon it plenty of times regarding the problem. The problem is everytime i have deep feelings for anyone, i fear to lose them, fear leads to self-protection, babbling and many others. Fear -> (Something) -> leads to Failure and Suffering. how i wish i can banish fear.

Damn me, why can't i have faith in the person. after so many months, i find myself a failure to believe everything that the person said and not refer back to the person's character.

Sigh.... as long as there is fear and uncertainty, i cannot meet with success.

The person is too nice, the person wants me to love her without conditions, like i promise i will stay with her, she said she doesn't wan it and wan to know whether i love her without it.

I do and yep it is a her...sigh.

Now i am confused, i dun remember what is the problem, and seeing her trying to ignite a smile and forget the past, made me feel like a jerk.

I have to solve it at first as i lost a good friend by ignoring the problems while it eats me alive. This made me try to solve problems at the bud

Sigh... i see no solution

God(can be Allah, can be Budda, can be RA, can be Zeus, can be God,etc, depending on the real one)

I pray i can make her happy
I pray i can have faith in her
I pray i can have confidence in myself for her
I pray i can try not to solve anything and be a listening ear

Strange that those i hold dear is those that i hurt the most.

All is Well i hope

Darkest Before Dawn.
7:34 AM

Monday, December 8, 2008

Hello, i told u i will give a freaking loong blog, dun wry there will be plenty of pictures
Farm Stay

Day1
Day2
Day3

Day1
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Woke up at 7am, meet all my cousin at 7.30, one of my aunt was late so we left at 8.30....

we were off to a bad start, there was a traffic jam and the 3 hr ride became 6 hr ride, we were a group of 4 cars, 1 sunny, 2 altis and the last one i forgot

So we were at singapore waiting for the
checkpoint, my cousin and i were restless and we came out of the car to take some shots

This is the sunny, my seat is empty, that is my dad, my sis, my mum and my cousin, her name is silver

This is the black altis, the family of my 2nd uncle in there
and my 1st aunt(purple) in there

This is the golden/silver altis, the family of my 3rd aunt(pink and yellow and the one in my car) and 1st uncle in there

the last car i have no shot but my 2nd aunt is in there

The car my uncles are using are rented and my 1st uncle's car keep breaking down stuff and can't get above 100

my 2nd uncle's car can't get to 120 without vibrating the entire car

after the freaking long trip we reach the farm

The farm is huge, with lilys everywhere

My sister is trying out the obstacle course
well, she was wet after doing half of it, my mum scolded her for wetting the jeans on the first day(hour)

My dad having fun with my 2nd uncle after rescuing my sister's shoes

then we went boating, my 1st and 2nd aunt can't row a boat to save their lives, i row with my 3rd aunt and my sister, even though there was water in the boat up to our feets

here is my 2nd uncle with his family posing for me

Here is a picture of my sister as she is struggling to get out

Here is my dad helping my 2nd aunt go back to shore

she look so scared

After that we went inside the duck area and the ducks ran, it was funny XD

Here is the picture of the ducks my dad took

After that we went to one part of a farm where i caught a rare sight, bugs mating

it is damn rare woooah

i saw them on the leaf-bared lady finger plant

Here is my mum eating the beans in the farm

Here is my 1st uncle and cousin

Later at night, we went to the night walk, big moon nothing scary, later when we went back, there was a swift nest near my room, so cute

Sms someone and went to sleep, had a good dream i was on my favourite bed but woke up to...

Day2
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Woke up at 7+, found out that my dad caught a fish last night

we went out for a HUGE walk, went to see al

l the areas that some of them we saw yesterday,

we went to the padi field and fruit field, not the mention the wild boar storm remains(alot of broken trees), we took a group photo

We went to the padi field, this is why i came to farm for, haha, it ain't that bad, in the mud, the only thing that may harrass you is the werid sinking floor which make u dun wanna move and the trip to go there is full of tall grass

Here is a water spider

After that tiring trip, it was lunch where everyone ate the fish my dad caught , it was nice
Then we went out to get BBQ stuff and took a break from the farm, my cousin bough oil and stuff all so freaking cheap...i bought a cup of ice-cream with no expiry date( no stomach ache)

Here is my sister with the dog in the farm

4+ we came back, my dad started to fish with the rest of my cousins watching... i grew tired and retired to the room to play psp and tink of something,

when i came back they caught 5 fishes, i was like wow, instead of using bait, they use fish food(those round balls)

Here is a few pictures of my cousins and sister in action

sadly i miss it all, ah heck, i can't stand the waiting anyway

They all caught a few fishes

Then it was BBQ time, i gave the 2 small fish to the kitten, so cute, then we cook the rest of the fish, barely out of it's natural habitat...so fresh and delicious, no seasoning at all

My cousin all participated cooking the food

after that my dad continued fishing while my cousins who became hooked to it, continued fishing with my sis till the rain came rin 12am and forced hthem home

Day3
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It was still raining

After morning breadfast, we went home, my cousins and sister were crazy abt the fishing and wanted the rain never to stop so that the water may flood the roads and stuck us in the farm

it nearly did

there were 3 times where the cars could hav been flooded

This is a picture of the drivers figuring out how to cross

I had the classic water spray on guy kinda thing on TV, my dad said i was stupid, i agreed

imagine me at the side of the car and u get the picture

however we managed to go thru, and whew.....haha home sweet home

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All is well

Darkest Before Dawn.
2:43 AM