Thursday, July 31, 2008 Darkest Before Dawn.
FURIOUS ANGELS
well i ,tink it is a long time since i blog, but today alot of things to blog.
Here is what i going to say as a content page
-What going on recently and a summary of what i going to say
-Ms Gong B'day
-Wan Yee B'day
-Wushu
-Singapore
-Inner Troubled Thoughts
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I have been so busy recently that i barely had enough sleep, in fact i was dying this few days
We have been planning for Ms Gong B'day
Lets just say i am never allowing my pals to make handmade cards again, not that it is ugly, but it takes sooo much time
At the same time i had to plan for Wan Yee B'day, lucky they wanted a small cake, however, it was a rush in the morning and i was running on pure adrenaline today.
I want to talk about wushu too
Then i wan to touch on singapore
then i wan to touch on my inner trouble thoughts
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Ms Gong B'day
it was a SUCCESSS... haha that i am glad, it was troubling, especially on the last night where everyone nerves were fried, i even gotten angry. 
We had huge argument and i was going to shout a few times only a last min restraint that said" we all in trouble together" saved my ass. Then Jackie attitude of positive and my attitude of "feeling alive in pain", allows me to stay focus.
Photo for Ms Gong>>>>
We ordered Mee Goreng for 20 people, it was well receive and cleared(Chelsea had a thing about food)
Drinks were nearly cleared and that is good
Class was clean beyond expectation
We have Jolene, Cindy,Jackie(maid), Daniel(Logic), Rey, Eileen, and Me doing the job
Thank You Jolene for being picky so we can do well
Thank You Cindy for your tolerance for teammates
Thank You Jackie for your candle in darkness
Thank You Daniel for Mental Support and Help in IRP
Thank You Rey for Your invaluble ideas
Thank You Eileen for your artistic skills
Thank.... i dunno what to say abt me lah
Others:
Thank the class for being cooperative and those who stayed back to clean up.
Thank You Mr Andrew for Being Nice to Us
Next Thing is teachers day... cards for 10 teachers?
No Freaking way, i think i will buy LOL
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Wan Yee B'day was the same day as Ms Gong Bye Bye Party.
Our plan was to make her embarrass in front of everyone, so we wanted to sing the song in the morning assembly
However, i couldn't work the lighter Jolene gave me. So it took awhile to light the thing, and it was blown off as soon as we reached Wan Yee
they are photo shy so i won't say much
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on a more sad note, let me talk about wushu.
From a outside and social view, it is perfect, great people there, well planned, i love my buddies there, i do not care for the tiring training, in fact i would be happy to be tired(not at that moment but once i reach home)
However there is something terribly wrong.
I admit i am lousier than most but that is not what is wrong, i can be the shittest but i do not care as long as i am trained.
And the fact is i am not trained and i think my coach is only distancely aware of my existence.
Evidence:
I was one of the earliest to join and yet i was one of the last, strike that, i was the LAST to get a weapon, and ONLY,ONLY becuz i requested it.
I tot maybe i could be patience or the coach was testing it , so i was patience, i didn't ask her for anything much, i had to ask to get a weapon.
I remembered she was giving commands to the team to practice
(translated to english)
"
****, Go learn your **** weapon
Roger....erm go do what you do.........."
Is that freaking insulting?, i mean like what the fuck?
I ask for so little, a little coaching, a little attention, maybe just 10 mins spend with me i will be so happy trying to learn 5 moves which i will get 2 out of 5, but nope, latest training, she never even given me any personal training. Which other people had like 20 mins to her or smt? I know i am not that good, but do u need to shove it in my face? I would be so fucking happy to get a scolding
My patience is wearing thin, teachers recommand to all students that they keep going on for at least a year.
I will finish the year, and by then i will quit. I will find other ways to train my fitness.
I harbour no hatred for her, she is doing her job. However i wan to achieve something. It is so sad that i found a perfectly good CCA to have it trashed by ignoring me.
I feel saddness to quit, but then again
it needs to be done
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Singapore
They Recently Gave Us a S-Cube thing... some book on Success Survival and Serving( i tink)
Are they NUTS?
After countless hearing what my GP expert says and what i learn. Do the Singapore Government treat us like fools?
We are A-Level Students, Close to being a full adult. Are they nuts to think they could brainwash us with that crap.
Well the stories are true, the examples are true. The stories we all know are fictional. However, what the chance that that we all do that? Where are all the stories about us going bad? About our racism?
One thing i really hate in singapore is the lack of press freedom, that everything is censored so much, it is like a bloody cage. Can't they trust us not to turn our backs on our country?
I will do my duty as a citizen,national service and everything. I am thankful for the secure environment, however there are just some thoughts.... I think i will go read Singabloodypore
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Messy Inner thoughts
Well, i never made the same mistakes as Secondary school
However, i have one mistake...one terrible mistake...........O god how am i suppose to fix that
Determination can't help me, only if i could relax
Another thought is , god it is maddening in my head. I know so many people, but do i know them?
Who the heck am i? i am not better in anything compared to majority, i am like a jack of all spades(most at least), then what is my role if there is one that can be better, who the hell am i ?
i hate being so weak, hate it so much
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Maybe the lack of sleep is the issue i am so negative
I will see about tml
All is Well
5:55 AM